My GPS Camera Phone

This photo was apparently stuck in limbo, with the message to my phone downloaded, but not the image. When I checked incoming messages yesterday, to my surprise, I found this great photo of a palm tree (in our front yard, maybe, but something tells me that it isn’t).

In previous shots using the Casio G’Zone, the center of the image tends to be discolored, especially when shooting earthy colors. It looks like Nancy nailed the perfect shot to cancel out this discoloration, using a light background and an earthy foreground. There’s no cropping on this photo either. It’s directly out of the camera phone. Personally, I love it. How about you?

Photo credit: Nancy

Photo credit: Nancy, my awesome wife

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit the Wordless Wednesday HQ.

In this particular case, we’re talking about the cigarette-smoking camel, not the Joeprah. He’s off doing some commercial for Graco in Atlanta, schmoozing it up with the Hollywood types and having himself a little bit of fun. Not a bad gig for being a stay-at-home dad.

While he’s gone, I’ve been entrusted to post on his behalf, which I’m sure will result in a lifetime ban from the Internet. But the bar is high, so I’m hoping that my sarcasm and wit will be enough to at least keep a few readers from wanting to sue him for mental distress caused by mediocre content. If you’re brave enough, go check it out.

But enough about Joe(prah).

Nancy took this picture about six months ago, probably on the University of Florida campus. It’s just a shot of tree bark, right? Well, let’s see if you can locate the head of a camel in there. If you can find it, then you are a visionary beyond your wildest dreams or you’ve been awake too long. It’s in there, trust me. If I have a moment later on, I’ll post an updated photo with the outline. Happy camel hunting!

Welcome Joeprah readers!

Thursday, June 5th, was surgery day for me. It was a microdiscectomy to relieve sciatic nerve pain in my left leg. Not really a big procedure, but it required anesthesia, a breathing tube and lots of needles. As I waited in the pre-op area, thoughts raced through my head, mostly of what I was going to do with the nearly three weeks I had off from work. Then, it hit me.

What great material for a blog post!

Since I couldn’t achieve a good angle with the camera phone, Nancy happily took over the role as photographer and captured the action in wonderful detail. Being the subject of the story was a bit of a role reversal, but I’ll do anything for my readers.

After receiving the first IV (as seen above), I got to lay around and crack bad jokes to the hospital staff as each one stuck their head in to check on me. The visits were brief, but I’m not sure if it was because they were busy or because my humor was too intelligent and overwhelming for them to handle. I suspect the latter.

The best part of being checked in for surgery is the whole strip-down-and-put-on-this-ridiculous-gown part. Having no choice, I eliminated every bit of coolness in me and donned the oh-so-sexy hospital gown. It could have been much worse, though, had it not been for the brand name bootie socks and awesome hair net. Had the socks not been MediChoice, I would have been, like, no way am I wearing those. As for the hair net, well, I think the smile on my face speaks for itself.

Surgery time finally arrived and I was wheeled to the operating room by an ex-military guy who was flight crew on a plane that very likely landed on the aircraft carrier I was aboard. Knowing that an ex-military guy was working on me intensified my level of anxiety, but alas, I began to experience multiple dimensions and realities before succumbing to about two hours of mind erasing sodium pentathol.

The procedure went well and I was moved to the recovery area where I was literally ordered to go potty, or else I couldn’t leave. There was no way I planned on staying overnight just because I had a problem peeing on demand. Easy enough, right?

Wrong. While I have to give major props to the staff for providing me three cups of decent coffee – right out of surgery – I do have a problem with being placed on a who’s who watch list for post-operative bladder relievers. It was no problem drinking the coffee and an additional eight cups of water, but trying to convince the staff that I was dehydrated and felt a bit under pressure (no pun intended) was futile. A simple failure to pee was going to cost me over a thousand dollars. Not going to happen.

A shift change occurred and the resident doctor came forward bearing the bad news of my pending admission for the night. Nancy, being the best negotiator and persuader on the planet, took control of the situation after I failed to state my case for leaving. My argument and voice were cut short because of the throat irritation caused by the breathing tube that was crammed down my throat. She convinced them that I would know if my bladder were about to explode and that she did indeed know how to dial 9-1-1 on the phone. Her years of CNA experience probably helped the case as well, but she made it clear that I was going home, pee or no pee.

I went home and (not) to my surprise, my bladder did not explode. Duh.

The moral of the story: don’t let the healthcare industry push you around. And no matter how uncool they make you dress, just remember that you almost always come out of surgery with all awesomeness intact. At least I did this time, as seen by the incredibly flattering photo. Let’s hope next time goes just as well.

On second thought, let’s hope there’s not a next time.

In the atrium of Weimer Hall on the University of Florida campus sits a dusty relic whose purpose has been overtaken by today’s modern printing methods.

No, it’s not Walter Cronkite. It’s a machine called a Linotype.

The Linotype was not a printing press, but the machine used to create type bars that created the monolithic plates for (thanks Craig!) that went into the printing press. Each line was crafted in the Linotype via molds and molten lead. The finished product was a lead line of characters which was then positioned on the plate which would do the printing.

The UF College of Journalism website has an informative story on the Linotype and the acquisition of this particular piece. Here’s a quote from the article, Historical Type, by Dean Emeritus Ralph Lowenstein:

“For about 100 years prior to the 1970s, reporters and editors from the high school newspaper to the largest metropolitan daily had memories that included the clatter of Linotypes as printers translated newsroom copy into lines of solid lead. We all had the thrill of carrying home our first byline in the reverse lettering of a line of type, or of becoming the butt of the Linotype operators’ perennial joke – handing a new reporter a line of hot type and watching the greenhorn gasp in pained surprise.”

Today, Linotype (the company) is one of the leading font foundries in existence today, boasting over 10,000 fonts, two of which are used on this website – Palatino and Helvetica.

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Image credit: Nancy

Sage, our beloved Cockapoo, came into our life about four years ago. Sage has an uncanny ability to absorb negative feelings. For example, if something gets you down or you’re upset, grab hold of Sage and she melts it away. Sage is a cuddly dog who doesn’t mind being pinned down and held during a long nap. She’s more than happy to sit on your lap, no matter how much room there is or isn’t. Often, she will come to you on her own if she detects even a hint of frustration in your voice. Basically, Sage is an awesome dog.

If you talk to her or make strange noises at her, she does thing with her head and turns it sideways, kind of like she’s saying, “What? What are you saying?” It’s adorable and Nancy caught her in the act the other day. This is a great shot because the focus is still there, but there’s motion captured as well. And it’s Sage.

One thing that I’ll never forget is that Sage made me a dog person. We now have three dogs and a cat. Though I still think I’m more of a cat person, my soft spot for dogs has become much larger. Especially for dogs that don’t shed.

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